Kiss Of Death
by berryboom
Summary: "I was just like everyone else a year ago, before I lost him, and I don't remember how I ended up in an asylum, except that a dagger was my company at the time. But it feels so real: he talks to me and kisses me, and holds me in his arms." DISCONTINUED.
1. Delusive aura around me

**This was one random short story I got into mind a few days ago. I thought it was of some potential, so here it is. If there's any grammatical mistake, I apologize. Fanfiction doesn't really provide the service. **

**Anyway, enjoy!**

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><p><strong>Chapter 1<strong>

**Delusive aura around me. **

_And I enjoy it like it's a real thing. _

In my mind, the memories all run together, with no sense of time or order. Something that happened years ago can be clearer to me than what's happening right now.

My time line is not relevant to that of the rest of the world. This distorted sense of reality is due, I'm sure, to my undeniable insanity. If you don't believe me, it's all right. You'll understand everything by the time I'm finished here.

The first time I saw him, he was walking home from school with his friends. His raven hair was spiked in the end, and covered his forehead (I had the impression of a chicken-ass). He had the most admirable body, all within the right proportions.

His onyx eyes sparkled in the sunlight as he raked a hand through the perfect hair. Then he turned to look at me, and for a moment our eyes connected. He kept his gaze on me for just a moment too long before turning back to his careless conversation. He looked handsome, and impressive, as well as a person with superb cool. It was evident in his quiet, mesmerizing voice.

I wondered if he thought about me just then, whether he noticed my long pink hair, my jade eyes, pale skin and my full lips. Thinking back, I guess he did a little. But not too much. I wasn't so beautiful.

But I was only a girl of 15 years then, just as unprepared for the tragedy to come as he was.

I looked up at the bright blue sky through the red leaves of the birch tree outside my window. The clouds moved through the sky slowly, inviting one to watch them float through the world. I've always wondered if there are people living on the clouds, staring down at us, just as we stare up at them. What if there's an entire society up there, unknown to us?

But I'm drifting again. That was so long ago…or was it only yesterday? I can't seem to remember anymore, but that doesn't matter.

I looked around my cell discontentedly. The off-white walls bored me to no end, and I had an irrational desire to paint them. I was sure they wouldn't allow me any paint. No telling what I would do with it. When you're in an asylum, they consider everything a possible weapon.

All the beds were fitted with a single sheet, and a single pillow. The door was left open at all times, so that the nurses knew what you were up to. There was no door to the bathroom, only a curtain, and only a thin shower curtain for privacy when you bathed.

The window to the outside was made with safety glass, so that you couldn't break it and jump. The corners on the desks were rounded are so that you couldn't hurt yourself on them. It was the perfect set-up for a small child's playroom, but it was absolutely ridiculous for an adult to be forced to live in these conditions.

And yet I was here, living in this place of broken souls and constant memories. I ran my fingers gingerly over my chest, tracing the scar where I once tried to escape this world: the end of the series of events that led me to this place.

_If anyone deserves to be here, it is I, _I thought_._ I was a raging lunatic, carried in here on my clouds of delirious fantasy. But what made me so crazy, again? They kept telling me I was, but I never remembered.

I looked up at the ledge below my window to see that it was snowing outside. He and I used to love being in the snow together. When the ground was covered in its whiteness, we would go out at midnight under the stars, and dance. If anyone happened to see us, they would stare at us like we were some strange creatures they had never seen, but that was all right. When you were in love, it didn't matter what other people thought of you. I closed my eyes for a moment.

When I opened them again, I saw Sasuke sitting on the ledge. He was so _hot_. I smiled at him, glad he had come to visit me again.

"Hey baby," I said quietly so the nurses wouldn't hear me.

"Hey Sakura," he said, "Long time, no see."

"Yeah, no kidding. Where have you been all this time?"

"Around."

"I've missed you, baby."

"I missed you, too."

"I get very lonely in here. I wish you would visit me more often."

"I do have a life you know." He rolled his eyes.

I smiled at him. That was typical Sakura for you, always the smart-ass, but so caring underneath it all. "Of course, dear. I want to come out and spend time with you. I want to spend forever with you…but…" My mind halted. Somehow I couldn't complete the thought.

Suddenly a nurse appeared in the doorway. She slowly shook her head. "Sakura, you know he isn't real. Sasuke is dead."

Ah, that was right. He was nothing but a hallucination, a phantasm of my broken mind.

In this way and others, my memories refused me a moment's quiet. Sasuke was dead. That scar on my chest was the mark from when I tried to follow him to the grave. I wished I had succeeded.

When I looked back up at the ledge, he was gone. I turned my attention back to the snow silently laying down on the black asphalt outside. It covered the parking lot, and all the cars sitting on it.

I sighed. The nurse was still standing beside my door.

"Can I help you with something, Miss…," I looked it her name tag. "Dara?"

"I'm just here to make sure you're alright, Sakura. I wouldn't want you to be listening to Sasuke and trying to hurt yourself again." She said gently, coming to sit down on my bed. "I'm here to help you."

And she was.

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><p><strong>I'll update soon again. Here is the first one. Thank you for reading. <strong>


	2. Blurry times

**Sniff sniff. Thanks so much for your reviews! **

**Next chapie up! There will be flashbacks first, so be a bit patient with the way I take the story on! xD**

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><p><strong>Chapter 2<strong>

**Blurry times**

_And they are so clearer now for me to see._

The nurse was still sitting on the edge of my bed, but she had been silent for a while then. I was grateful for that small comfort. I wanted to be alone, though. "Ms. Dara? Could I be alone now? I promise not to hurt myself."

She looked at me doubtfully, but conceded to my request. "Of course, Sakura. Just be careful, okay? We care about you."

I shook my head dutifully, even though I didn't believe her. She smiled at me softly and stepped out of my room quietly. I lay back on my bed, letting my thoughts drift. I was alone in this place. So completely and utterly alone. I could hear Sasuke speaking in my head.

_"I know you love me, you little pink thing."_

"You know I do." I answered him aloud, but quietly, so that the overly curious nurse couldn't hear me talking to him.

_"Then come to me. We can be together forever here. Yes, you miss me. Like any girl would do."_

I closed my eyes tightly against the ache in my chest.

I moaned. "Sasuke..."

He didn't answer. I remembered summer nights with him, spent running through fields in the twilight, catching fireflies like carefree children. I held his hand and ran through the daffodils, more in love than anyone else in the world.

And suddenly memories again came back to me.

The day after I first saw him, he was walking home alone, which was unusual for him. He was usually surrounded by a group of giggling girls, his normal entourage of friends. Or sometimes his boyfriends from class.

I was sitting under my favorite tree, reading a novel, as I did everyday in the summer. He stopped on the edge of the sidewalk to stare at me. I looked up from my book.

He spoke my name quietly. "You're that Haruno Sakura?"

I was surprised he knew my name. "Oh yes. Glad to meet you. You can sit with me."

I knew I had gone a little too far with nervousness, but he took his hands out of his pockets. "If you like."

I smiled, quite pleased the someone like him would give me the time of day. "Cool."

I made room for him under the shade of the tree, and he sat down beside me. "I've heard a lot about you," he said charmingly.

"Oh?" I said, not so surprised this time. Most everyone had. Of course, ms. pink hair, I was.

"Haruno Sakura, artist and the intelligent little girl of junior year, famous loner…" He looked into the distance wistfully. "But I think they exaggerate a bit. It's not really true that you can't feel anything, is it?"

He looked sideways at me, with his deep onyx eyes. There was a bit of sarcasm in his tone.

I was thoughtful for a moment. "Maybe not…but why would they say it if it weren't true?" I asked him.

"You know how people are, especially in small towns like this one. They have nothing better to do than gossip."

I laughed quietly. "Yes, I suppose you're right. But no, it isn't true. I certainly feel things."

"That's good. I would hate to think that you could never fall in love with someone." He smirked, crossing his legs beneath.

I got the distinct impression that he was hitting on me. I liked this more by the moment. "Someone like yourself?"

He laughed, a throaty and sexy laugh. I knew that _he_ knew he was famous. "What ever makes you think that you would fall in love with me?"

"I don't know. You just seem like a very charming guy. The type of guy I could fall in love with."

"Well..." he looked into space. I was a bit hopeful. "I'd better go home now."

I had felt disappointed. But I wouldn't show. So I just shrugged it off and told him, "Okay. Alright then. I guess you'd better be heading home."

He got up and beginning to walk away slowly.

"Wait."

He didn't look back at me, but stopped. "Yes?"

"You're Sasuke Uchiha, right?"

"Everyone knows that," he said. "Or maybe you think I'm disguised?"

I smiled. " No, I didn't have that thought. Well, Sasuke, you feel free to come sit with me any day you like, alright? I mean, if you ever want...and...uh, no exaggeration 'cause you know how small town folks like to gossip."

He smirked a bit, before turning around and heading home.

That was the first time I actually spoke to him. After that we had many conversations under that old birch tree, getting to know each other better every day. Eventually my words came true, and we fell in love with each other. The townspeople disapproved of his being with me, the horrid pink hair freak, but he didn't care. He loved me, and that was all that mattered.

I opened my eyes to see a nurse standing in my doorway. She wasn't the same one as before. This one was older, and she looked less patient.

"Time for your meds."

She brought in a handful of pills and a small cup of water, which I took without any fight. I didn't remember what all the pills were for, but what did that matter? A nurse brought them to me daily, so I didn't have to keep up with them.

"How are you doing tonight, Sakura?" She was looking down at her clipboard, distracted.

I wondered if I should tell her the truth. If I should tell her that I was having trouble remembering what was real again. Sasuke kept talking to me, but wasn't there someone just about an hour ago saying he wasn't real? He was real, of course. They just couldn't see him like I could. But they seemed to get upset when I told them that, so I didn't bother.

Instead, I smiled at the nurse still waiting on my response.

"I'm doing well, actually. I'm a bit tired. I think I want to go to sleep early, and try to get some rest."

"Good!" She seemed pleased with my response, and scribbled something on her clipboard. "Get some sleep, then. I'll be back by to check on you in a few hours. Goodnight." With that, she left the room, leaving me to the quiet again.

I settled back on my bed, pulling the covers all the way up to my chin. I was not really going to sleep, but they didn't need to know that. It was best if they thought everything in the world was just as they saw it.

They didn't _know how_ to know about Sasuke and I. But I knew, of course.

And for tonight, I was going to lie in bed and talk with him for a while. In the morning, I would see what he wanted me to do about this place and these people who just didn't understand.

Someday this silence would take up an explosion.

And that day I would see what I could do about them.

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><p><strong>Sakura's hallucinating. O_O But anyway, I think something's in my mind about it. I'm real tired now. O: <strong>

**So please, read and review!**

**And hey, who's a fan of Super Junior among you guys? Let's join the chase and pwn the other people to get to the hot ones. O.O**


	3. The Blade

**I'm awfully sorry for the late update! :O But I wrote the last flashback. **

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><p><strong>Chapter 3<strong>

**The Blade**

_Sometimes, kismet happens._

_He toppled down the slope in one flash. I heard his and mine scream of agony pierce the air._

_And then I was seeing the man come out, wet and matted, and he lay my love's listless body onto the sand. __I had collapsed. And I didn't remember how I came home, what did I do after I saw him being lifted into a stretcher by the paramedics. _

_I saw my hands forcing my dresser's drawer open, and I frenziedly searched for anything to extinguish the fire in every vein of my body. I threw my socks and pants out of the drawer and then attacked the other one, spilling the contents. My face burned with heat, and the intensity of the salty tears still flowing. _

_I couldn't think clearly, I couldn't see clearly, and I couldn't hear the pounding on the door as loudly as anyone._

_"Sakura Haruno! OPEN THE DOOR RIGHT NOW!"_

_"Oh, my poor daughter...Sakura, c'mon, please! Open up!"_

_I ignored them, because I had finally found what I realized _now_ I had been searching for it. _

_My hand clenched around the silver hilt of the dagger, my knuckles turning white as I held it tightly._

_Now was the time._

_The pounding grew ear-splitting. _

_The door knob squeaked, the hinges rattled._

_The floor beneath me shook. _

_The room was a blur._

_But soon I'd get around it._

_I hit the dagger on my chest, ripping the cloth as I made a great, crescent wound , that immediately gushed scarlet blood. I was about to plunge the weapon right into my heart with a final flash when -_

_BANG._

_"Call an ambulance! Oh, my daughter!" _

_"Sakuno, she's insane! Totally deranged!"_

_..._

My eyes fluttered open, and I blinked a few times as the sunlight bathed my dark cell, using the break-proof window.

The bed sheets were drenched with cold sweat, I noticed as I sat up, breathing heavily. I was soaked through my clothes with perspiration and when I touched my face, I realized that I had been crying.

Damn it.

I had been crying, but why had not I screamed?

Why had not I screamed like I had or when they snatched the blade from me and dragged me to the hospital?

I should have. But I could not see why. I was terrified, and a bit consoled that all the nightmare was behind me, and that the cell, instead of driving me crazier, was driving the memories out of my mind, slowly.

But I could not let them be driven away! The bliss of those moments with him before the nightmare: the cell was turning it into a deep oblivion, so that my mind would be empty, could forget it.

And as much as I believed that Sasuke was alive, because he talked to me and held me together in this gloomy place, I was terrified that all of this was changing.

I was forgetting, and I was becoming less affected.

I could not accommodate another change that had settled with me in a year. Without Sasuke, in my life or memories, I was dead.

Why the heck did those people say that Sasuke was dead? They were killing the hope and the desire in me - but of course, Sasuke returned every other day and I was confident that he was alive.

I could not live in a world where he was not in my vision. I put my head in my arms.

Without him, I was a cracked shell, embedded in the sand as the surf washed the land. And it was so bad that I already felt that way.

I did not know what to expect now. I was terrified to forget all of it. I was terrified of any kind of change. Today, I would figure out how to escape from this asylum with Sasuke, and then we could live somewhere else.

"Breakfast, Sakura dear!" Miss Dara called.

I sighed.

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><p><strong>Whew. Short and tasteless update. I have something coming up in the next chapter. O_O <strong>

**Got questions? Concerns, requests, or ideas? Drop a review or PM and I will be there to sort it. 'Cause I need encouragement and concepts from readers too!**


	4. Craze and Delirium

**I'm so sorry that the update was late, and that I won't be able to update for a month. **

**My Homepage: Larissa Wu on Facebook.**

**So, this one, and bye. D: **

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><p><strong>Chapter Four<strong>

**Craze and Deliruim**

_I don't mind going to the edge._

I lay on my bed, after having the breakfast of meager amounts of peanut butter sandwiches, and ice tea. One thing about this stupid asylum was that it always conceded to the prisoner's requests that were safe enough.

But if I requested for a knife to slice the apple, they would panic and offer to do my task.

What the heck, and what stupidity. I couldn't die. I would, when I had proof that Sasuke was dead. The memories always lied. Even when they were clearer than the past.

They just wanted to make me forget all my stuff, all the things I loved. But I wouldn't. I was strong enough not to let them change my mind.

The clouds drifted away from the hiding sun, and suddenly the room was bathed in sunlight again, with my heart singing with misery.

_Everybody tells me,_  
><em>That it's so hard to make it,<em>  
><em>Yet so hard to break it,<em>  
><em>And there's no way to fake it,<em>  
><em>Everybody tells me that it's wrong what I'm feeling,<em>  
><em>I shouldn't believe in,<em>  
><em>The dreams that I'm dreaming,<em>

_I hear it everyday,_  
><em>I hear it all the time,<em>  
><em>I'm never gonna amount to much,<em>  
><em>But they're never gonna change my mind.<em>  
><em>Oh!<em>

_Tell me, tell me, tell me_

_Something I don't know._

_How many inches in a mile,_

_What it takes to make you smile._  
><em>Getcha not to treat me like a child, baby.<em>

_Tell me, tell me something I don't know._

_Everybody tells me I don't know what I'm doing,_  
><em>This life I'm pursuing,<em>  
><em>The odds of me loosing.<em>

_Everybody tells me that it's one in a million,_  
><em>More like one in a billion,<em>  
><em>Or one in a zillion.<em>

_I hear it everyday,_  
><em>I hear it all the time,<em>  
><em>I'm never gonna amount to much,<em>  
><em>But they're never gonna change my mind.<em>  
><em>Oh!<em>

_Tell me, tell me, tell me,_  
><em>Something I don't know,<em>  
><em>Tell me, tell me, tell me,<em>  
><em>Something I don't know.<em>

_How many inches in a mile,_  
><em>What it takes to make you smile,<em>  
><em>Getcha not to treat me like a child, baby.<em>

_Are you ready for it?_  
><em>Yeah I'm ready for it.<em>  
><em>Really ready for it?<em>  
><em>Yeah I'm ready for it.<em>  
><em>Let's get ready for this.<em>

_I'm on my way,_  
><em>I know I'm gonna get there someday,<em>  
><em>It doesn't help when you say,<em>  
><em>It won't be easy.<em>

_How many inches in a mile,_  
><em>What it takes to make you smile,<em>  
><em>Getcha not to treat me like a child, baby.<em>

_Tell me, tell me, tell me,_  
><em>something I don't know.<em>

_How many inches in a mile,_  
><em>What it takes to make you smile,<em>  
><em>Getcha not to treat me like a child, baby.<em>

_Tell me, tell me, tell me,_  
><em>something I don't know,<em>  
><em>something I don't know,<em>  
><em>something I don't know!<em>

My song was broken by Miss Dara's voice again. I sighed, and turned my face towards the door, but did not get up.

"Yes?"

"Someone wants to see you, Sakura dear."

I sat up, groaning and stretching.

Miss Dara smiled sadly - sad, huh? - and moved so that the newcomer could walk in.

I screamed when I saw the person behind Miss Dara smile and come to my padded, dark cell.

"SASUKE!"

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><p><strong>Oh, my God. What happened?<strong>

**And I cropped that song in a hurry, guys.**

**Anyway, keep following me, and I'll update Kiss of Death and Paranormal soon. :D Thanks all.**

**Baaaai.**

**_Kylie._**


	5. Molten Gold

**Bonjour guys! Oh yes, I was alive, but my laptop wasn't, nor my PC was, and nor Sasuke was. So that delayed writing. Doesn't matter, I've done a lot of hard work – not Fanfiction work, but my schoolwork –, and today I've written this chapter. Gimme an ovation - But wait, I'm disappearing again. **

**Anyway, on with the story! :D**

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><p><strong>Chapter 5<strong>

** Molten Gold**

_Her eyes were alive with the topaz concern._

"SASUKE!"

I screamed, standing up from the bed, and staring at the new comer. No doubt, his hair had grown girlish long, and his eyes were diluted now, but this was my love, Sasuke! Hadn't I seen him rolling down the hillock's slope and splash into the river? Hadn't I seen the man take his corpse out of the water and lay him on the coast? Hadn't I seen the funeral happening, and his friends and family crying?

Then what the heck was this? He was alive! I stared at him, with no courage to go up and embrace him, because I had missed his lap, his arms around me, and his lips for a whole year but I had talked to him just a few days ago. Or was it my imagination?

No, it wasn't. It couldn't be. I had been talking to Sasuke for some precious moments in the year while I suffered in this cell. People said he wasn't alive, but the proof was here. He was alive. I looked at Miss Dara speechlessly, who, to my utter surprise, since she had led the visitor in, was looking bewildered, confused and terrified

I watched as her features composed into a consoling face, even though I could still see tension in her blue eyes. She looked at Sasuke, who instead of coming and embracing me, took a step behind, confused.

Miss Dara walked towards me, and put a powder-light hand on my shoulder.

"Sakura," she said sadly, "That isn't Sasuke! Sasuke is dead, you know."

I looked at her furiously. Real anger seethed through me; so much I wanted to destroy everything that was in my reach. I screamed at the top of my lungs.

"You liar! You blind woman! Don't you see that's him? –"

But I broke my sentence midsentence as the visitor faltered and stammered, "I'm not – Sasuke – he has died already…"

I was confused, by the voice. It was girlish, and high, almost a trill.

Now the person came forward and there was just a foot between us, with the nurse standing beside me, looking very hurt and sad.

I took in the details, and it was like my heart stopped beating.

Was I blind, too, now? Had I lost my sight as well as my senses and my memory, my timeline? They were not lying, then.

The person standing before me was slender and medium heighted, almost five foot, it seemed. Her hair were just the same shade of raven as Sasuke's, with a few highlights which gleamed blue in the light, but they were long, and fell a little below her shoulders. The skin was just as pale and creamy, and her eyes were the most overwhelming ones: a piercing topaz shade, as if the irises were actually made of molten gold. But they looked a bit crimson, and she was very beautiful with those eyes.

Was she a twin, then? Then it meant that I had been hallucinating.

I had thought she was Sasuke; I had neither used my sight, nor my brain. I was crazy, and I knew that the people believed Sasuke dead. He only met me when no one was around, for a few moments only.

He wouldn't make a grand entrance. The asylum people thought he was dead.

I crumpled to the bed in a sitting position as I understood that I was imagining him, and tears blazed in my eyes, so that the woman's figure was a blur.

I cried, not caring that they were watching. I had to make myself clear. I was tired of imagining things. Why couldn't they let me out? Maybe then I would feel and sense better. But my parents had so cruelly left me in an asylum, even though my mother did not want me to leave her home.

It seemed like hours that I had been crying, but they were only minutes. Miss Dara had backed away, and now she stood watching me beside the window.

I felt a small, warm hand on my heaving shoulder, which was so like Sasuke's touch, though much lighter and gentle.

"Hey, look up, Sakura Haruno."

I looked up, because she had spoken very casually and simply to me. Other people always talked to me in a very slow and sad manner, as if I was on my deathbed, and as if I didn't need any fun.

She was different! I was starting to like her already.

Miss Dara smiled encouragingly at the girl, and with a pang, I saw that she had tears in her eyes. I must have offended her, calling her 'liar' and 'blind'.

But whatever, I would apologize later. She walked out of the room, leaving the door open. I heard her steps and her voice as she called out genteel orders to people outside.

I turned my gaze to the woman, who looked around for a seat, and bringing one closer to me, she plopped down.

"I'm Sasuke's sister. Not a twin, but still I guess we look alike?"

I smiled automatically, feeling a bit better. "Too much. I reckon that's why I confused you with your – er, brother. Sorry."

"I have already forgiven a lot of people who've confused me and Sasuke," she said, pushing back her hair. Then she frowned. "Do I look that manly to people? I have long hair and different eyes, and I'm prettier than him. I dunno why everyone confuses us."

I leaned back on the bed. "No, you both look the same. No one notices the main differences."

She rolled her eyes. "Right. I will attach a tag with my name on my back. Even though everyone knows that he's up in the skies."

The way she talked so casually about her brother being dead made me think that she didn't care about him much. But she had made the sentence into a joke, and I felt lesser pain in my heart about Sasuke not here. I just laughed.

Suddenly, I realized that this was the first time I had laughed since I entered this asylum. I stared down at the girl's sandals, and the manicured nails.

"What are you thinking – hey, how foolish of me , I haven't even told you my name!" She began. "Well, I'm Uchiha Sakae."

"Nice to meet you," I smiled.

"Nice to meet you too," she smiled back most naturally, and I fell for that amazing smile; she looked fantastic.

"So how come you're not going back home?" She asked me, leaning in to speculate me. "I asked the officer and he was like the people in the asylum are released after one year."

"They are released?" I shot up in surprise.

"Yeah, if the results aren't that bad. But some people can't be handled. They are like dangerous to themselves as well as others. So they are kept here. I wondered why you shouldn't be home with Sakuno and Asuka Haruno."

"You know my parents?"

She smiled apologetically. "Can't tell you about it."

"I'm afraid that I haven't been released because I'm not worth it."

"You mean what?"

"I don't want to open this to you…" I looked around for something entertaining, but found nothing. I wasn't going to scare her with the details of my craziness but I didn't want her to go away either. I had made a friend, so I had to keep.

I scanned the cell, and saw some copies of _Wuthering Heights, Dracula _Wuthering Heights, Dracula, and _Emma_ novels on the table. Right and great. The only source of entertainment. Couldn't they let me a laptop? Maybe Sakae liked music.

"Tell me about that," she said quietly.

"About…?" I asked absently.

"Why you think you aren't worth getting some fresh air and fun with the people who are free."

"…I – I dunno…maybe, if you take no offence. It's a long story."

"I got time," Sakae clenched her teeth.

She _was _gonna get me out of this wrecked place for anything.

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><p><strong>Poor cliffhanger. But I didn't pay much heed, 'cause I was writing this chapter, publishing <strong>_**Paranormal **_**and writing the final draft of another new story which I'll take ahead after I finish with **_**Kiss of Death.**_** So forgive me if there's any error. I was in a hurry and there might be some.**

**Meet you next week, or if I didn't update, then I'll come back early in September, 'cause I love autumn! xD**

**Bye.**


	6. Confessions

**I'm at a loss of ideas. Help? **

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><p><strong>Chapter 6<strong>

**Confessions**

_What the heck, but it was still worth humiliation._

Sakae watched me intently; I saw resentment, passion and empathy all blended.

"Sakae," I felt an unexpected thrill go down my spine when I said her name, and it bothered me a bit, even though I was a …comfortable with her.. "I'm hopeless."

"That's sort of the mental thing I hear from cowards. _You're not a coward._" The last words had a ring in them.

I fidgeted with myself, thinking of how to start my crazy story.

When I looked up at her from beneath my lashes, her face was in inch from mine. Her eyes were suddenly overwhelming; when she spoke, her awesome scent reached my nose. Blimey, how did she do _that?_

"This can be easy, or this can be difficult, Sakura," She said, irritated.

"Okay," I took a deep breath. "What do you wanna know, anyway?"

"Why do you think you aren't worth release? Why are you here? Not like I don't know the main point, but I'll like to hear that from your view."

I listened to her musical, soprano voice, and then started in a slow voice.

"I don't know if you ever knew that soon after I met Sasuke –" pain strangled me within at the mention of his name and my voice shook " – we started going out. It was just…I mean, no one was that important to me than he was. He was everything for me, and … every second he was away from me, his voice, his face…everything, vividly, was in my mind and it kept me okay…"

I was staring down in my lap as I spoke, feeling like an utter moron and bizarre. But she was a _woman_, so I was able to say some. I looked up to gauge her reaction, and realized that she wasn't there on the seat anymore. She was standing by the break-proof window, the window that was long and rectangular and the sill was a foot from the ground only. She was looking at me as keenly as before, and then she smiled crookedly in encouragement.

Had she not looked down, I would have been staring at her like an idiot. "When…he fell from the cliff –"I clutched at my throbbing chest "– and when I got to know the bad news, it wasn't what I could handle. I couldn't attend the funeral; I shut myself in my room, and out of grief and pain…I tried to stab myself with a dagger."

I looked up. Sakae raised her eyebrows, but didn't say anything.

Shoot. It seemed like this girl was just like Sasuke, who always guessed at things beneath the calm surface.

I pulled my legs up the bed, and wrapped my arms around them securely. I mumbled into my knees. "I don't have much memory of it. But I guess...it's more difficult for me than others to take over things. I was...very hurt and when I tried to kill myself, my parents sent me here. They thought I had grown crazy.

"And seeing me, I _am_ crazy and lunatic, right?" A looked up at her with a hint of a smile playing on my lips, but a very sad smile. Her eyes were very gentle.

"I'll see much of that when you tell me more," she said placidly.

"...Well, then they sent me here. They thought I was insane. But still, see? I'm talking to you, and I remember stuff and I'm not banging my head, so why the hell are _they_ -" I jabbed my finger at the door "- and my parents not letting me go home?"

"I don't think you're outta your mind," said Sakae, with a tone that added _obviously_. "But still. The thing is that, you haven't told me everything. Why do you think you aren't worth getting back?"

Crap. Why couldn't she drop it? I looked down, hoping that my expression would not betray confirmation. But my silence seemed to irritate her.

"Sakura, if you don't speak, I'll drag you from here, and take you to a shrink. How's that?"

"A _shrink_?" I nearly shouted, my voice jumping up to three octaves. A _shrink_? That would be worse than an asylum!

Sakae looked at me stubbornly, her jaw set. "I do what I say."

Silence.

A snarl of fury from Sakae.

Hesitation from me.

A very pronounced growl from Sakae, and I looked up to see her lips curling back over her perfect teeth. Her eyes were frozen solid.

I put my head down on my knees, and decided that I would better speak, anyway. Everyone knew, so why not her, too? Was this a secret I was bound to protect? It didn't look like it. And she would not tear my body away if she knew something.

"I see Sasuke. I talk to him. I touch him. And he does, too."

"What?" Sakae's voice was a dead monotone. She came to me, and sat back on the stool. "What?"

"You are sure I'm crazy? Sasuke isn't dead. I can see him, touch him, talk to him. No one believes me. And I'm not hallucinating."

I took a deep breath to stop myself shouting; she obviously thought that keeping me in an asylum was the right thing.

But what she did was surprising. She looked at me for a long moment, and then said, "That's all? That's why you think you aren't worth getting back?"

"Is that not enough?" I asked, surprise in my voice.

"You are so foolish."

"'Cause I hallucinate?"

Silence.

"What are you thinking?" I pressed, just because I wanted to hear her attractive voice, not because I wished to be showered by questions again.

"I'm thinking," Sakae said, pushing her raven hair back, "that this room is very stuffy. And you need to clean up. And that you also need some new dresses and something -" she looked around the room "- to keep yourself entertained."

With that, she stood up and walked around to the door. Then she paused and looked at a bemused me.

"Oh, Sakura?"

"Yep?"

"Tomorrow is game."

She flashed a dazzling smile in my direction, and slammed the door behind her.

=o=

I had never, ever spoken that much than I spoke when Sakae came around. That first day she had drilled stuff out of me that was humiliating. Now her times with me were the most exhaustive times of my life in the asylum, but also exciting, fun, and gossipy.

And different. I was so used to waking up late in the morning, seeing the dark walls and the same, grim room, and then bathing in the dark, inky bathroom, wearing the same faded clothes, and then eating woody breakfast. Then after that, nothing. Just read some books, and sometimes Dara took me to play unsuccessfully with the other kids of my age. I always ignored them, and then they started talking about me behind my backs, so the nurse employed me to cook a bit in the kitchen. Which was the most boring activity that I did once a week. The same medicines, confused and dead thoughts, and cleaning of the cell.

Nothing more terribly exciting.

And then Uchiha Sakae came to change my life. The second day after we met, she brought a football with her, and we played soccer with her and two other girls who used to cook with me. I vaguely remembered that they were named Kira and Lily. Both were pale and weary-looking like me, and part albino. Well, I used to be pretty good at soccer, and Sakae never let me go until three hours were up and I was going to die with tiredness. But I had won the game.

Then she helped me, Kira and Lily with cooking; they both were very much happy to be helped, too, but I thought they seemed a little jealous as they looked at the beauty that shone out of Sakae. I pitied them and myself: I had to admit that Sakae looked fantastic whatever she wore, even in a grim gray apron.

We had delicious steak, bologna and sandwiches for lunch and dinner with all the other people on the same floor as mine. It was fun to watch as the kids smacked their lips and requested Dara and the other nurse to employ Sakae as a chef. But of course, Sakae wasn't crazy and she obviously got school every other day; we could be with her after noon only. But that was enough.

At night she kept me awake with dreary, boring questions of my childhood; my pets and my friends; my favorite teachers and celebrities and movies, and music, until at twelve I begged her to let me sleep.

"Where are you gonna sleep?" I asked her as I came back after brushing my teeth and slipping into my holey sweatpants and battered Tshirt I used as pajamas. I was very tired, as I came to sit on my bed. She was leafing through the two or three barren books on my table.

"Home, of course," she told me.

"Uh, okay."

She saw the reluctance in my expression: reluctance to let her go, and she laughed throatily. "Trust me Sakura, I'll be back after school. My parents will probably be worrying whether I am kidnapped or something."

"Okay," I repeated, scowling as I tucked myself in bed. "See ya."

She smiled again, then ruffled my already ruffled hair before leaving.

I stared a bit at the closed door that I could see in the dim light of the oil lamp on my table. Maybe she would have something more interesting tomorrow. That'd be nice, and...different. For the first time in a very long time, I didn't know what to expect of the next day.

_Why is she so interesting, anyway?_ I wondered dully, as I drifted to a dreamless sleep without any faces of the ones I loved and the ones I had lost.

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><p><strong>Ultra, ultra late update. Sorry. Review please?<strong>


	7. Psyche

***Sniff***** I just turned fourteen on 16****th****. And my exams are finished now, if it is 30****th**** yet. Oh well. I'm finishing this damn story I'm getting bored with D: But I won't leave it incomplete!**

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><p><strong>Chapter 7<strong>

**Psyche**

_They say that eavesdroppers always hear what they don't like. __For me, it' s a tie._

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><p>The morning was the same…yet different.<p>

I woke up to find myself in my white bed. The solitary lamp was out, and the room was filled with the soft and dim light from the window. It was dawn. No sun, though.

The gray walls, the old table, the battered collection of books, and the inky bathroom – all the same. For anything, this could be just another dreary and boring day in the asylum.

Yet I had never felt expectant. I did not know what I was expecting…Something like I had gotten free of this place or someone as coming to visit me…

That was impossible.

However, some forgotten dream was scratching at the surface, trying to be remembered, while I lay, tired and woozy, not able to get twelve hours of sleep.

Then the puzzles clicked into place. I was suddenly not sleepy anymore, and I jerked right out of my bed, throwing the covers off me and making the crib squeak.

_Sakae_!

Oh yes, the thing to be remembered was Sakae. I remembered now, that I had slept at midnight, and that she had promised to be here by afternoon…

Feeling considerately hopeful that today would be like yesterday, and I would not have to make a show of being okay and everything, I lumbered towards the bathroom.

I decided that since I had to wait for her until afternoon, I would take a shower. It was nice –whenever I had taken a bath here, I had always been so numbly ignorant of everything, preoccupied.

Now, I concentrated on cleaning, and really, the warm water felt excessively good as it cascaded down my back. It unknotted my muscles, calmed and refreshed my nerve impulse. When I came out of the bath in my towel, I was feeling much better. I opened the old chest of drawers, and found my three lone sets of clothes: one, the T-shirt and jeans I had worn yesterday, two, the furry cardigan I had to wear in winter and the last was a maroon turtleneck shirt and green pants. I always wore the same sandals, and sometimes the worn-out runners.

I chose the latter and quickly dressed; then I grabbed my pajamas and yesterday's wear. Laundry today, with Lily and other girls, I remembered, called Trudy and Lucille.

_Anwww. _

"Sakura, you're up already, dear?"

"Yes," I replied, almost cheerfully as I lifted the basket of clothes. When I turned, I saw that Dara looked a bit startled, but she quickly composed her face into a pleased smile, but her azure eyes were still cautious.

"Feeling better?" She asked as she handed me my pills and a glass of water.

"A bit," I told her involuntarily, and she, scribbling pleasurably on her clipboard, smiled again and walked out of the room. I rolled my eyes.

At breakfast, with the ten people of my block, everyone was chattering as usual. When I had come here in my early days, I used to tune out the conversation, so I didn't really make many friends. People tried, as naturally as they could – if they were right in their minds – I never contributed, though I worked with them with no track of any updates.

Today, I looked at each of them and tried to catch up with the conversation. Kira talked with me most, but the rest didn't really seem interested, though they smiled at me. During breakfast, I got to know about all the people. Kira was very gossipy, and she updated me with all the year's gossips around me.

Trudy was red-haired and nice-looking, and she was here because she had many psychological and emotional problems; though this reason did not justify her being her very clearly. Lucille was Dara's seventeen-years-old sister and had come to earn money, obviously, (Though I could not think of why she chose here). Lily and Kira were sisters, too: Lily had lost her memory in an accident, and she rarely talked; Kira was also sent here with her.

There was a boy named Ichiro – dark-skinned and with dark hair – and I saw that he was always staring at Trudy, and always absentminded. There was Ryuu, a very peculiar boy who was always kept separate from the other people because he had insanely killed his own grandmother. I shuddered when Kira told me this piece.

Rai was a very beautiful blond girl who had been kicked out of her house by very cruel stepparents and had been found drunk and wasted in an abandoned alley before she was taken here. A very tired looking near-adult boy, Wes, the corner most of the table, and Kira told me that he had symptoms of cerebral ataxia – nerve disease – and was very imbalanced in mind and body. The nurses and the asylum doctor gave him treatment and exercises. The last was a half-conscious little boy called Nami and I felt the most pity towards that kid because he had no sense of where he was and Kira told me that he was mentally handicapped.

All this made me sure that I was the only one here who had tried to commit suicide, and even having a sane mind, I had been locked up here because my father feared that I would do something rash.

But before I could go in that direction, I concentrated on finishing my peanut butter sandwich and milk and then hurried to wash dishes with Kira, Lily and Rai who always worked in the kitchen. Then, insanely hasty, I grabbed my basket and arrived at the usual spot of laundry where Trudy, Lucille, I, and much to his drunken pleasure, Ichiro, squatted down to scrub up the dresses with soap and detergents. Halfway, Ichiro nearly dumped all the powder on my pants as he continuously stared at Trudy and I, cursing him, jumped up to brush it off. When we hung the clothes on the line, he uttered a very fraud apology and before I could accept or decline, he had run off.

I walked into my room after the chores, and brushed my pink hair, tying them up in a messy bun. I made my bed, careful not to notice the time and start freaking, and arranged the few books on my table neatly. I set my three clothes in neat squares in my cabinet and moved back to inspect my work. The room looked grim, like no one lived in it. Too neat, too empty. The gray walls, the gray floor, white sheets. Couldn't I be let some paint? I would not kill myself!

"…Sakura, medicine." Miss Dara.

"What's the time?" I asked her, looking at the room wearily.

"Noon. Like always. Now, take these pills and the water…"

I obeyed, gulping it in hastily. WHY HADN'T SHE COME _YET?_

"Hey, Miss Dara…?" I started hesitantly.

"Yes, dear?" she asked, not letting her gaze wander away from her clipboard.

"Could you let me paint, please?"

Dara surprised me by chuckling. "What?"

"You know, my room looks quite grim and I wanted to have something on my hands until nightfall –"_until Sakae came_ "– So I thought maybe –?"

"Paint?"

"Uh. Yeah. Uh."

"I'll talk about that with the doctor." Oh, why does she have to consult a _doctor_ for letting me paint?

"Do well, Sakura," With that, she left.

I felt better now. I looked at the little alarm clock on my desk.

12.09

I decided to read _Macbeth._ I had borrowed it from Kira.

12.30

I looked at the door. No commotion. I could hear Rai and Lucille.

1.00

I dumped the book on the table. I had read half the book already. Well, I used to be a good reader and pupil before I came here.

1.30

I decided I could not wait any longer. I got up, smoothed invisible wrinkles in my clothes and tiptoed out of the room. The hallway was silent. All the kids were in either their rooms or maybe working outside.

As I walked down the never-ending dark hallway, I noticed someone sitting down, hunched against the wall. Boldly, I worked my feet forward, and my heart ached with pity to see Nami, the little handicapped boy balled on the floor. His sandy hair was what was visible of his head; he was dressed in yellow overall. He was making little moaning sounds: "Mommy. Where is Dad? Why is it lonely here? I hate dark…"

I reached out a hand suddenly, to pat his head, but my cowardly inner recoiled and forced me to keep walking on, my heart twisting with pain.

I walked and suddenly there were loud voices getting louder. I ran silently and found myself in front of the door to the doctor's office. The label clearly said in bold capitals:

**DR. MINHO **

**THE ASYLUM, STOREY 4, CONTROLLER**

Oh, so I was in storey 4. I walked a bit further, keeping myself near the door but away enough that if anyone came out, I would scarper. I could hear every word now.

"…Her mother wants her back. But her father was insisting that we have to keep her here until she's better." The doctor, maybe?

"What will an asylum do to her? Make her sane? She's already sane! It's just love…Just bitter memories that turn her unhappy!"

My heart skipped a beat: this lovely, musical voice was sure Sakae's…but rougher with anger. Whom was she talking about? Me?

"…She needs distraction! Let her live in the fresher world, not in your fucking dark padded cells that could so bloody shit make life fuck for her –"

Man, I had never heard her swearing. Then I remembered that we had only been together once. Strange how it seemed like a month to me.

"Sakae! Hold your words!" Dr. Minho shouted, stung by her profanities.

There was silence. I wasn't a bit shocked that they were talking about me; I was shocked that Sakae was angry, angry at the doctor _for _me. And I felt a warmth spread in my body from this discovery.

"Sakae. I understand that you feel empathy for her because she was dead brother's partner…But please talk reasonably and politely." I recognized this voice: Dara.

"Miss Dara, please, please" – now her words were shockingly polite and serene – "Ask Dr. Minho that he let Sakura Haruno out of the asylum…It's been a year…She's all right. If she has something to think about, something to do and make herself have fun, she'll return to her life. Though I don't know if she can recover about Sasuke, but she can do this."

"You don't know her psyche, do you, sweetheart?" The doctor spoke harshly.

"I'm not a doctor like you, Mr. Minho, but I sure know that if a person's thoughts are converged on one place…If Sakura's brain is converged only on Sasuke in this place…She can never excel in life. Do you want her to rot in your asylum?"

"Of course not."

"Or maybe it is about money?"

"How dare you!" The doctor's voice grew up to three octaves. "Dara…Jesus, what are you saying, Sakae! A doctor is never concerned about money, but about people! I can see that you are terribly upset about your brother's death –"

"Who told you that?" Sakae hissed. "Who told you that I'm upset about Sasuke? He was a self-centered, self-absorbed, overconfident little boy who never gave me the respect that I had right of…even though I loved him! Who cares about that? I have a brother, and he's so much better and caring than Sasuke! He –"sniffling sound "– is a brother, a real _brother_!"

"Sakae…" Dr. Minho's voice was anguished. However, each of Sakae's words, harshly defining Sasuke, was cutting through me. Was this how a sister thought of her younger brother who had died? I clutched at my chest, wanting to hear more, yet dreading the ache.

"…I care about Sakura because she's the one who's suffering due to my fickle bro! Just as my Mom, crying her eyes out…Just like my friends…Please, let her have what she wants, freedom! You're even locking her freedom!"

A long silence followed Sakae's words. Someone sniffled again.

"How do you think you can make her feel better?" The doctor asked gently.

"I know she likes me because I'm Sasuke's sister…But at least I can make life better for her here. As long as I'm in Konoha…"

There was a shuffling of feet. "Sakae, okay, go to Haruno for now. However, remember that I can take no action until her father gives me permission," Dr. Minho warned. "For now, do whatever you want, honey. Just keep calm. Everything will be fine."

I ducked into the black shadows, heart aching unbearably, as someone walked out of the room, closing the door behind.

Not someone. It was Sakae. Even in the dark, I could see her face…Because it was pale, shining like moonlight in the night. Her eyes were red rimmed and she was wiping her nose on her cuff. Tear tracks were wet on her cheeks. But despite that, she was still beautiful.

My heart lurched painfully when I realized that she was crying, crying _for _me.

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><p><strong>O_O Wish me a late Birthday. <strong>


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